For the past several months, I’ve really been struggling with running. And by “struggling with running” I mean “getting ridiculously stressed out about running”.
It’s weird – part of me wants to run. But then I think about actually running – and I start to stress out and get anxious.
I don’t know exactly what it is about running that stresses me out. But it does.
I’m sure a lot of the stress stems from my general anxiety level being a lot higher since I weaned off of those anti-anxiety meds I had been taking. (I’ve been totally off the medication for slightly over 3 months now & overall I’m feeling really well! I have my super-anxious moments, but I’m feeling good.)
So I’ve been avoiding running – I think I’ve run 5 or 6 times total since the Sarasota half marathon on March 11.
And this “avoidance” was stressing me out even more…because this is looming on the horizon:
Everyone knows you need to have a solid base to start training for a marathon. …And something tells me 3 miles a month does not come close to “solid”.
To help make myself feel more confident – and to get some miles under my feet – I started speed walking. I had a couple great walks & averaged quite a few miles in the 13:45 range. A comfortable “brisk” pace for me is around 15:30, so 13:45 was really tough!
Speed walking sounded like a great idea – and I figured I’d just speed-walk MCM.
And then the heat came to Florida. Even walking at a 15:30 pace feels tough in 90* with 85% humidity.
So this got me thinking about the time requirement for the Marine Corps Marathon which is 14:00 mile for the first 20 miles in order to “Pass the Gauntlet” and then “Beat the Bridge” before they open the streets up to traffic.
So the heat and the timing made me start worrying more and more about how I was going to get through training. And then I started internalizing and feeling anxious about it.
I’m not good at compartmentalizing things that make me anxious (I’m working on it!), so my overall anxiety level has been through the roof, just from the thought of this marathon.
So I’ve decided to pull the plug on the Marine Corps Marathon.
The stress and anxiety just aren’t worth it. And frankly, at this point, I don’t think it would be good for my body to force all that mileage either.
I am not at all ashamed of making this decision – I know it’s the healthiest thing for me right now (mainly from a mental standpoint, but also physically).
I am bummed though. This was going to be a big event for me and my family since me, Ryan, Mom and Ron were all running together. And, well, it’s the effing Marine Corps Marathon!
So that’s it – I’m not running (or walking…or run-walking) the Marine Corps Marathon. And it feels really good to finally say that out loud get that off my chest!
Is Ryan and your mom still doing it or did they decide the same thing? Are you just gonna spectate now? You can make signs!
You know, I really wanted to do Marine Corp but I didn’t think I could rummage up the will to train that quickly again already. So I feel ya. I’m considering Austin in February and I still have PLENTY of time to decide. And rest. I’m just signed up for one half till then so we’ll see how it goes. Burn out really does last a long ass time. I’m still trying to get out of it.
Ryan’s still up in the air – he just had his gallbladder removed & a hernia repaired (yesterday!) and won’t be able to even try running again for 3 or 4 more weeks. So he may need to back out as well. Mom & Ron are definitely running though – they live in PA so the heat isn’t an issue for them, plus they’re CRAZY for running. Ron will be 70 in August & Marine Corps is his “I may be 70 but I can still kick a marathon’s ass” race.
Either way, me & Ryan will still be making the trip (airfare & hotel are already paid for) – I’m thinking of dropping down to the 10k which is on the same day as the marathon so I’ll be 1/2 running 1/2 spectating.
Burn out really does last a long time, doesn’t it? I think doing 3-4 half marathons in a row for the past 3 years has taken a toll on me.
Yes! The same happened to me. I get so race crazy, register for everything, and I don’t think about the toll it takes.
It’s a bummer though since MCM is a sold out race and probably really cool. But still running the 10k would be cool so you get to experience the day.
Well if you change your mind, I’ve got a MCM bib for sale
I hear you. I have tons of running anxiety. I think it’s totally find and you should not feel bad about it. You should do things that make you happy and excited! I am signed up for three halfs next fall and spring already, plus Ragnar FL Keys, and I have not been running much due to my hip. I have a bunch of anxiety over whether I am going to be able to do these races. I really want to, though. If I have to pull the plug on any or all of them, though, I’m going to remember that I told you it is OK!!!
I really wish I had a better mindset about running. I guess I’ve never really loved it, so it’s always one of the hardest things for me to motivate myself for! Then add in all of the other “generalized anxiety” I’ve been having and running really takes a toll on me! And don’t you worry – if you end up needing to back out of anything because of your hip – or any other reason – I’ll definitely remind you it’s OK!
Ahhh, I just had to make this same decision and it made me so sad. You seem like you’re dealing with it a little better than I am though
I’m signing up to run the 10K again this year, I really enjoyed it last year. If you still come to DC you should think about it (and we can meet. yay!)
I am definitely sad – but also proud that I was able to make the right decision for myself without beating myself up about it! You should be too! I’ll definitely be in DC that weekend – our airfare and hotel is already booked! So a meetup is definitely in our future! I’m pretty sure I’m going to do the 10k – I’m going to start a Couch to 5k program in the next couple weeks and see how that goes before registering though. (OH – did you see there’s a bib transfer program for MCM – I’m going to see if I can find someone to buy my bib so I don’t lose the whole registration fee – you should too!)
Sorry to hear you won’t be running MCM this year! Completely know where you’re coming from with stressing out about running. I played that game Feb-May this year and then for some odd reason crossed the starting line for a marathon I wasn’t prepared for. Shoulda dropped down to the half, but didn’t. Got my first DNF.
Smart move waving the white flag when you’re feeling stressed and burnt out from running. After a nice hiatus, you’ll find the love for running returns
And the 10K would be a great alternative, especially since you’ll already be up there for the weekend!
I sure hope the love of running returns – or at least the “like” of running! I’ve always struggled with enjoying running & pretty much treat it as a necessary evil that is fun when I’m training for races. But it’s just like a CHORE now and really not worth it! Hopefully this time off will be just what I need.
Running should be fun, not stressful. I think you did the right thing. I hope you start to love it again!
Thanks SM – right now I feel like I definitely made the right decision.
Good choice
I totally think you made the right call!
Me too! I am positive I won’t regret making this decision!