Six years ago today I lost my father.
It was only four weeks after I moved to FL and was finally in the same state (and city!) as him in more than 12 years. I had such high hopes for a new relationship with my father as I started my life with Diggity. (He introduced us after all!) But sadly none of that came to be.
No one expected his death. But does anyone ever expect someone to die? I thank my lucky stars Diggity was here to help me get through it. I was a train wreck for months.
Dad wasn’t sick - but he wasn’t healthy by any means.
He died because of a blod clot that went to his lung (pulmonary embolism). We were in the car on the way to the hospital because he didn’t feel well. Diggity was driving and Dad was in the passenger seat. I was in the back seat. It happened about 2 blocks from the house. His house at the time, my house now. It was the scariest moment of my life.
But instead of focusing on the negative side of things, I thought I’d share with you some of my favorite pictures of my Dad, fondly remembered as Big Al.
***************
Dad, me and my big brother Albert. I don’t remember this day – but I bet if I did it would be one of my favorites.
Dad and my little sister Tammy. I love his hair in this picture.
My high school graduation. He drove up to PA from FL for this – and cheered really loudly when I got my diploma. I loved every second of it.
(Lets try to ignore my bushy eyebrows and lazy-appearing eye.)
He did the same thing when I graduated from college – I was embarrassed that time though.
He LOVED fishing. And insisted that everyone baits their own hook. This is why I DON’T love fishing.
He loved his daughters even when we were uncomfortable in hot dresses at our brother’s wedding…
…and in our awkward stage…(that may or may not have lasted from age 8 til age 17)…
…and when we wore overalls with bowl-cuts. (Sorry Tam – I couldn’t resist!)
He was forever proud of his son.
He loved his grandson Riley (my brother’s son) more than life itself.
(He died when Abbie, my brother’s daughter, was only a month old, so no pictures of them together)
He was a fun guy who was always willing to put himself “out there”.
He was proud of everything he had – even if it wasn’t much in comparison to others – because he worked hard for all of it.
This one is 100% my favorite picture of Dad. I don’t know what it is about it specifically. He just looks content. This is the man I picture whenever I think about my father.
***************
Not a day goes by where I don’t think about Dad at least once.
I wonder what out life would be like if he were still alive. Where would I live? Would we still go to dinner on Sunday nights for Fish’n'Chips at Rotten Ralph’s? (He did that every week with Diggity before I moved here. I got to tag along the last 3 weeks.)
I wish he was there when Diggity and I got married. But part of me thinks (or hopes?) that he was there.
I wish he could meet the children Diggity and I will have someday. And I wish he got to see the wonderful children Riley and Abbie have become.
I wish he was still here. But since he’s not, I will remember him with a smile on my face and know that he loved me until the moment he left this earth.
I Love You Dad. I always will.
What a beautiful tribute to your father. I’m so sorry for your loss. Have you written about your father introducing you to your husband? I’d love to read that story, too!
Anyway, thank you for sharing your father with us; I know this must’ve been hard for you. I’ve only written about my father once on my blog because it can be a bit difficult to articulate my feelings about him (since he’s been gone for most of my life, it’s more of a missed out feeling than a missing him feeling…I think), and I think it may be uncomfortable for my family (maybe not?). I think it’s awesome that you wrote this post.
Thanks Sara. I’m sorry for your loss as well – whether you were young or old when you lost your father, it’s still a terrible thing to go through, and makes life filled with a whole lot of “I wish” statements.
This was actually easier for me to write than I thought – for the first time I years I was able to look at all of these pictures and smile rather than cry. (Although I did cry by the time I was done writing…)
I agree – it’s difficult to articulate what we feel – I wrote lots and deleted lots. In the end though, I decided to go with the good memories of Dad. And don’t worry about your family being uncomfortable – if you write from your heart, they will understand – I’m sure they have a lot of the same feelings.
(I actually never wrote the story about him introducing me to my husband! …that just might have to be an upcoming post!)
thank you so much for sharing this. i lost my mother 11 years ago and know what a huge difference it makes to be missing a parent. i am sure your father would be incredibly proud of where you are now.
thanks again for putting this out there. xoxo
I’m sorry to hear about your mother. Although I must say, it makes me feel less “alone” knowing that there are more people out there who understand what I’m going through.
Such a beautiful tribute.
Thanks for sharing him with us. But I too am very curious about the meeting the husband story too!
Thanks Krissie. I will definitely share the story about meeting my husband! I never thought anyone would be interested since it happened so long before I started blogging. I’m seeing an anniversary post in the works now…
It’s totally true: It doesn’t matter how old you are or whether it’s expected, you’re never prepared to lose a parent.
I’m still trying to get comfortable writing whatever I want on my blog, even so many years after starting it. I promised myself I’d never write anything on there that would make anyone want to disown me. *Sigh.* So much material wasted.
Side note: When I read “Big Al,” I immediately thought of Robert Klein’s character on the show Sisters. Do you know it, or am I just proving that I’m old and watch too much TV?
I sure do remember the show Sisters! I would watch it (or maybe reruns of it) when I stayed home sick from school! I just don’t remember Robert Klein’s character…
As for writing things that won’t make anyone disown me…I just don’t write things that would get me fired! (Thus nothing work related on here…)
All I can say is…Amazing…Thinking of you!
Thanks Sharon.
Very touching
Thank you Steph.
Thersea.. this is so nice.. I am sad i never got to meet him.. Thank you for putting this together..
Thanks Amanda. I think you would have like him. Glad I got to share a bit of him with you this way.
Good job, sis!
Glad you liked it Tam! Come look at the rest of the pictures whenever you want!
Awesome tribute! He surely would be very proud and honored. By the way, I remember the day that I took the picture of you and Albert with him – it was at Ohiopyle Falls State Park and it was loads of fun – it was early spring and there was still some ice around and not many people at the park but we still had a great time and it was a unique adventure! (And you were so very cute!!!)
Thanks Mom! I’ve always wondered where this was taken.
What a wonderful tribute to your father. He is smiling down upon you right now. The best thing we can do for ourselves and for our loved ones is cherish the memories and remember the good things.
Thanks Paula. I think you’re right – cherishing the memories and good times is what’s important!
Theresa
This was really great. I loved all the pictures, it reminded me of my family. Even though it is sad, it was more happy. Your dad looked like a really fun guy. I smiled a lot because you are a great writer. But I cried too, and I didn’t even know him. So glad that you put this together.
Thanks Mary. He certainly was a fun guy. (And thanks for thinking I’m a good writer – you made my day with that comment
)
Thanks for sharing cuz!
It brought both a tear and a smile to my face!
The picture of Big Al and the fish is classic! I Love it!
Thanks Richie! That picture certainly shows his real personality!
What a great post. I love that your Dad introduced you to Diggity. I didn’t know your Dad, but I feel like you’ve totally captured him here (if that makes sense).
Thank you Kate.
(I’m planning to do a post about the introduction to Diggity since everyone is so interested in the story.)
What a wonderful tribute Theresa, had to grab my tissues! I enjoyed seeing pics of him and of you guys! I can’t believe its been 6 years! I’m sure he’s still around watching over you guys!
Thanks Chrissy! I can’t believe it’s been 6 years either. Time really does fly. (As for him watching over us, I still sometimes think he comes back to the house!)
A wonderful post about your dad. I’ve lost mine two years ago, because of a blood clot in his brain. I know how you feel, and how painful can it be, but remembering moments like those you mentioned in this post make it a bit better.
I know that you’re dad is watching over you, as mine is watching over me.
Big hug,
Marina
Thanks for stopping by Marina. I am terribly sorry about your father. Thank you for sharing your story as well. Just know that it definitely gets easier – I was still “raw” the first 2 or 3 years but finally I can look back and remember more of the good times rather than the sadness of his passing.
If you ever want to chat, I’m just an email away.
Sorry I missed this post yesterday. I hope you got through the day okay. It must be tough to remember that. I love your tribute to him though! Hugs to you!!!
Thanks Tina. I honestly think writing this post helped me get through the day. It was somewhat therapeutic for me. (And apparently for some of my family and his old friends too
)
Thank you for introducing us to your father. He seemed like such an amazing man and I am sure he is very proud of you now!
Thank you Jennifer. He certainly was amazing – and a bit crazy!
this is so very nice… I am sorry you lost him, he looks like someone who enjoyed life.
I thank you for sharing him with us, and look forward to the story of meeting your husband!
Thanks Kristina. He definitely enjoyed life!